Why marry?
Last night I was having dinner with my mom and we were talking about someone in our family and about their marriage. Mom said, “Why would…well, I won’t say it.” And I said, “No, what?” She leaned in and whispered, “Why would anyone get married?” And I laughed out loud. Having been married three times, I’m not sure I have an answer for her at the ready.
The other night, I was having dinner with someone who said his mother had turned against marriage after the second one and then was so dead set against it that when he was going to get married, he told her, “I’m going to tell you something, but you can’t say anything. I’m getting married.” Her response, “I wish you would have said you’re gay.”
Marriage is sort of like a romantic notion that perhaps has only legal benefits and no romantic ones. To say I want to live with you the rest of my life and share my life suggests that this life of mine might not be fluid and ever changing and that I might want to live in China and you in Peru and that one of us would have to compromise a great deal and life is so short, even though it’s wide, to make those kinds of compromises.
If someone has an answer to my mother’s question – why marry? – I’d be glad to listen – but as a marriage veteran, I must say I believe in love, profoundly, but I have my doubts marriage is the best response to love. Unless, one of you needs health insurance.