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There is an ocean breeze blowing through the wide open windows (read: no bugs) and Louis Armstrong is on the player, while Tin plays his blue recorder (a birthday gift from his godparents). Tatjana started school this morning – we met all her students last night for a dinner that is still with me (unfortunately – way too much food). She left 30 euros on the kitchen counter (grocery money) and a note to have a relaxing morning. And I did – I meditated, read, had my decaf coffee, and did a little work.

I finished Jean Smith’s Introduction to Buddhism, and am halfway through Mark Epstein’s Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart (a gift from Susie). My take away from this, “When we take loved objects into our egos with the hope or expectation of having them forever, we are deluding ourselves and postponing an inevitable grief. The solution is not to deny attachment but to become less controlling in how we love. From a Buddhist perspective, it is the very tendency to protect ourselves against mourning that is the cause of the greatest dissatisfaction.”

I’d only add it is not just an expectation of having them forever, it is that they not change – because inevitably they will change, we will change and it’s that dynamic that creates conflict. I am certainly not the person I was before who fell in love with X, Y or Z, but I only remember the relationships in terms of who I was then, not who I am now.

Outside of our apartment is a Winnie the Pooh doormat and today Mudd posted on Facebook a Winnie the Pooh quip that is fitting for today:

“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.

Read: I’m 53 years old and just arrived or rather in thinking of who I was then and who I am now, and how my relationships to people, lovers, work, home has changed, my other take away from Epstein’s book – quoting Zen master Dogen: “Do not regard time as merely flying away … Do not think flying away is its sole function. For time to fly away there would have to be a separation (between it and things). Because you imagine that time only passes, you do not learn the truth…”

Which is that we are not actually separated from time. Our being and time are not separate, they are one and the same. They are all we have.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012 at 5:00 am and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.