Re-grooving
I realized that I have become utterly flawed by a few comments that I am want to say when offered the opportunity.
Comment #1 – San Francisco made me ambitious. Having moved there I realized I could not be the bohemian I had thought I would be but instead had to join the rat race because it was do or die there. To afford to live and partake in the rich mercantile lifestyle of a true San Franciscan, one needed money. And lots of it. So began my life of working my ass off and of making money.
Juxtapose this with:
Dream #1 – to live in a studio apartment in the French Quarter and write.
Now collapse this with the following knowledge:
Fear #1 – if I lose my job, I will lose this house, and everything I have worked for, become, who I am, etc. etc. etc.
AND
Idea #1 – Working hard to live a certain way that is contrary to my nature is wrong. Solidly wrong. No one has paid me (yet) to blog every day for the last 8 years, I do it because I am compelled to it – blogging is my thing. I also have a creative streak in me that rewards me more for finding unique solutions than for settling for conventional ones.
Prescription: Follow that instinct.
Old ways:
Eight to ten hours in front of the computer
Fear of being untethered to a digital object
Anxiety over tomorrow
New ways:
Sit on back porch in the sunshine
Read a book
Take a walk
Re-grooving happening over here – it is not without fits and starts, but, oh, it is a worthwhile endeavor.