A sure cure for the blues
I realized yesterday after spending the entire day in search of Tin’s needs that a mother gets spent quite easy. It’s what made me decide to give away all of my animals in one fell swoop. I didn’t mind you, but I thought those thoughts and I think every animal in this house felt those vibrations and were crouching low to the ground when I came near.
I think it was around 7:30 pm when Tin was spitting his apple sauce out into a pile on the table that I snapped.
For it was then that I realize what I have realize before that as a woman you grow up with some false belief that there is someone out there to take care of you, but then you grow up and realize you are taking care of everyone else so where is that someone to take care of you? And it dawns on you just as you are crawling to bed, spent, you are that person. But damn, now you are done for the day.
So when I put in Winter’s Bone to watch a movie that was directed by a woman which won many awards, I just said, pfst, and when the Netflix DVD skipped and replayed the last scene I was watching I said, THAT’S IT, and put it back in its jacket to go back to the mothership.
I was fully prepared to send everything and everyone back to the mothership when I realized that the best thing I could do for humanity and myself was to go to bed. Which I did, and I slept the sleep of the dead or the done.
When I woke this morning to watch the sun rise over the bayou, and to see the newspaper sitting in the walkway and to smell my tea steeping in the pot, I realized from the comfort of my flannel pjs that life delivers days that drain you and days that frame you.
And I committed this day, Monday, to be a day that frames me.