When I grow up I will be true to myself – on this I can assure you.
I want to sing like Emmy Lou Harris and think like Carolyn Hax.
This is Carolyn’s entry yesterday:
… This is where you hit the first of three standard happiness killers. If you say you’re tired or miss your friends, and if all he hears is criticism of him — even after you give the valid it’s-not-personal-it’s-just-who-I-am explanation — then he might not be mature enough himself to balance individuality with life as a pair.
If you do pass Go, then that’s promising but still not decisive. You’d still need to find out, with the affirmation of time, whether you both can adjust to make each other happy while still being happy yourselves. Wanting to is nice, but it doesn’t count. You either pull it off, or you don’t.
Finally, you test your maturity. Can you face some discomfort in the short term to do what’s best in the long? That covers anything from expressing needs, to resisting pressure, to admitting mistakes, to staying, to going — all components of remaining true to yourself.