What is the price of a child’s head?

Today I refinanced the LaLa – FINALLY – and with this financial burden behind me, I’ve been thinking about adopting a child – the price of a child’s head these days goes for about $35,000 to $50,000. A big financial burden after the LaLa. Is it worth it – yes, I think so. But I’ve been trying to figure it all out – will I be traveling a lot like I do for work? without a partner – how do you do that? I had dinner with a colleague who has adopted two children – he said to me “it’s better than I thought it would be” – I got an email from a friend who lives in NY now who I missed seeing while there, he wrote “I spent the day in the park with Isabel and am surprised at how much I enjoy her” and so I felt the tug – the just find a way to do it tug – and I called my friend L, pregnant, a 6 month old, a 2 1/2 year old, and I said what to do? I want a family – the idea of single motherhood is daunting – and she said DON’T DO IT – and I hung up the phone in my NY hotel room and took an Ambien and slept for 9 hours. Today I came home, thinking about children, thinking about life, and my dear friend in another country writes that there are complications with her adoption and she is having doubts – and she just doesn’t know – and I think of me, I don’t know, I never knew, I just have a longing for family, and children – $50,000? – Why? to bring one to me and let me love one? Who put the price of orphans? I told her she would know what to do in the end, but I am not sure I even know.

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