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I started keeping a relationship journal as I was ending my long marriage and beginning to see people randomly. It was helpful to know what had been my past mistakes and how to address them early on. And more importantly how to respond to red flags as they came up. Also to learn more about what I wanted in a relationship versus what I had tolerated before.

I was writing in that journal recently exploring my interactions and as I was putting the final flourish on what I had learned recently, I ended with this sentence, “I’m not a perfect girlfriend.”

For some reason that was a big breakthrough for me. I recognize that I was not the perfect daughter, wife, girlfriend, friend, coworker, boss, sister, and even pet owner in the past and all attempts at perfection have really backfired.

So when I look back and see how I was trying to be perfect and I was betraying myself, I realized perfect should not be the goal.

Wow, almost fifty years around the sun and what have you?

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 2nd, 2009 at 11:30 am and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.