Attack of the Chihuahuas
Arriving in Atlanta at midnight on Tuesday, my niece Michelle’s chihuahua (Chico) attacked Arlene. Segue to my other brother’s house a couple of nights later and lo and behold there are two Chihuahuas (Lady and Josie) and both attacked Arlene. So I had to bring the Bean to my friend Alice Ann’s house to be safe. Last night at the Maple Leaf’s First Anniversary of Mardi Gras in August, I was attacked by a Chihuahua. What goes on?
I was at the back bar waiting for Jamie to get a break – it was packed – and this guy walks up and shoves me to the side after I had been waiting there and I said, “Dude, what’s your problem?” He said “I work here” and I said “Like I give a fuck” – and he said “What did you say?” and I said “Fuck you” and he said “I work here” and I said “Fuck you” and so it began the slow removal of Rachel from the bar. He called security – lots of people got involved – when I was paying Jamie, a tall guy came up and said “Don’t take it personally, he’s a Chihuahua” and I said “That explains everything.”
The best part is that H&T backed me up and by the time the guy followed me to my truck, all three of us were shouting “Fuck you, you Chihuahua.”
Don’t try this at home. You can only do this if you are wearing a costume.