Dangermond.org

Friday the 13th, full moon, and a memorial service, or at least that is how this day started. In the pouring rain, black clouds, low visibility, getting lost with GPS and finding the park where my friend’s service was being held in an open air pavilion with a slide show. Photos of her marrying her husband, having her kids, smiling, grooving, living. Why is it that death takes so much from us? Why, when death is all around us, is it still the most uncomfortable experience we have in our lives. Who gets to say that a life has been short or long, lived or unlived?

I did two sessions with my life coach – one on my career and one on my relationships – and on the scale of 1-10, I found myself not in crisis at all, but actually on cruise control. Who knew? I feel calm, inwardly less stressed, outwardly happy, and curious about what comes next – I have no illusions and yet I expect miracles. Did my friend know that she would die by the time she turned 50? I doubt it. Does anybody know?

The other night I had this dream that haunted me for days afterwards – a very tall man with a scruffy beard was lying in my bed beside me and when I woke he turned over and kisses me familiarly good morning. What? Who is this man? I wondered for a few days afterwards. Who is this large man, lying in my bed, acting all familiar with me. I said to him what are you doing here? And in my dream he said, “I’ve always been here.” Was he a haint? Was he someone from my past or future? And pray tell, why was I surprised?

I determined in the last two days, or let me just say it was confirmed, that life is good. Yes, there are things, there are ducks to rearrange, and attachments to let go of, but for the most part, I can’t complain and I won’t lie and say I’m alright for you either. I just am.

Later it was African City night, where my friends and I dress up in our African garb and watch the web series out of Ghana, An African City, and cook African food. Tonight, I made Accara from Senegal.

I’d like to know how it is that on Friday the 13th, during a full moon, that the veil between the dead and the living, between the past and the present, between what is and what was and what could be, thinned so much that every conversation became weighted with a new way of knowing – others, myself, the world – and that’s how I came to spend this day – a day that Tin got in the truck after camp and said, “Mom, TGIF, thank God I’m fabulous.”

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 14th, 2014 at 1:00 am and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.