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I ran out of steam about 2PM this afternoon – my internet was still not connected and there was an over abundance of boxes with stuff in it stacked all over the living room. And there I was – toast. Unable to even think straight and unable to move an inch. The muscles in back of one knee had congealed from the heavy lifting of Sunday’s 10 loads in the F150 move. Oh my god – I just need to rest.

Tin’s room is done. I finally got my clothes hung in my closet this evening. The internet is up and the phone is working but little else. The comedy of errors continues but does not bother me – my movers – one sharp and one not – the one not put the return of my washing machine down the wrong hole causing it to flood my entire carpeted walk in closet. But that wasn’t enough – he also hooked up the hot water to the cold water and so all my delicates were boiled alive.

The refrigerator delivery guys who refused to take the doors off even as my neighbor kept saying from his porch – “Ya gotta take the doors off” – now have to reload and do it again as the water line proved to be fail proof but the refrigerator seems to be the problem – so that big ass fridge now nicely stocked with food finally – has to be switched out.

I found a credenza for my TV and stuff on sale – 40% off – and got it and learned today that it basically really can’t hold the stuff and so it all got so mixed up I still don’t know what the final answer was – but I knew there was nothing I could do about it.

And those bookshelves – well I agonized over what to get and finally just walked into Canal Street Liquidators and plunked down $200 for three large bookshelves and put those in last night until midnight. Done. Stick a fork in it, in me, it’s done.

I then went to go clean the apartment even though there was not an ounce of energy left in me. And on the way back home I stopped in to see my friend who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer – they took our her kidney, her ovaries, her uterus, and her appendix. She wanted to spoon last night with her husband and couldn’t because it was so painful. She starts chemo soon.

Honestly, this is a woman I admire – a tough bird we like to call them – but they’re the kind of woman who give strong love, who make things beautiful, who glue a family together and whose heart beat is mirrored by each member. Why does she get cancer? There are so many crotchety, unhappy, unhealthy, unfit to mother, unfit to love women in the world why would this bright light be dealing with this?

I came home and looked around at the stuff everywhere that I have moved here and there and packed and unpacked and cleaned and used and cried over. I walked around like a cripple – my knee about to give out – and I thought of how life is – I thought about this with no sense of irony as I placed all my clothes in the walk in closet where the carpet is now dry. I thought now that I finally have all my clothes hung in the same place, all nicely on the rack, a hurricane is going to wipe this whole house away or I’m going to explode or something about crossing the i and dotting the t (even though I’m still a few thousand boxes shy from really being able to say this) made me think that something is about to change in my life because I’ve been pushing so hard to get to here and the universe has been showing me for a while that my plans are meaningless and even less so when they seem certain.

In this hyper reality where flux is what you set your clock to, it’s good to know that your delusions have fallen away and now all you hold is the certain truth that change is gonna come.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 10th, 2013 at 9:42 pm and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.