Just like you said it should be
I was reading a little bit from my Power of Now book this morning and thinking about how the premise is that thinking really gets in the way and sort of screws up the experience. Because the mind is like a steel trap keeping all the hurts and failures and misdeeds in there like a continual loop of doom playing in the background. No matter how you want to experience something for true, for new, for real, you’re blocked by all the impressions that have come before that might lead you to believe this can only turn out bad.
But I want to make a leap of innocence here to a place where let’s just say you meet me and I meet you and there is no history between us, there is no baggage weighing us down, and here we stand naked and open, and all we have is the belief that everything is going to turn out okay and that whatever happens next is exactly what is supposed to happen no matter how things seem to appear.
And that is how I’ve been operating lately, so that despite the fact that things have radically changed in my life, I find myself less resistant to change, I find myself less fearful that I’m living out some karmic acid trip that I want to wake up from, I find myself less worried that this is all going to hell in a handbasket with just one wrong move. Because it’s not. It’s all going to be okay in the end, and if it’s not, it’s not the end. Right?
So now, there is the deep breathing and meditation that transports my mornings into a moment of bliss. There is the knowledge that everything that is coming my way is FABULOUS and if it is not, doesn’t matter. There is the living in this one moment where I put my son in bed and kiss his cheek and he tells me, “No, no kisses Mommy.” And I kiss him anyway.
See I’m living and every day I’m unwritten, and I get to fill in the narrative like Eudora Welty spoke about, and I am writing a provocative and colorful tale of a woman in the south who sees black eyed susans where others see weeds, and who faces fear with humility and courage, and who lives to tell about it. It’s all just like you said it should be.