In the process of becoming
Last night, I sat on the porch with friends after Tin was in bed and we looked at the night sky with the half moon and Venus and Mars glowing in the inky blackness of the dark. The evening had become successful despite its auspicious beginnings. Tin’s hesitancy about having an adoption birthday celebration gave way to a loving and tender child hugging his godfather unexpectedly, digging his bridge and tunnel train set that goes with the one friends had purchased him for his birthday, and loving his chocolate cake. We couldn’t have asked for a better result.
When we were at swimming earlier, he told the group it is his adoption birthday and the instructor told him she too was adopted and that when she was growing up they called it her homecoming celebration. He chose to stick to “adoption birthday” as the name. Also encouraging.
I woke this morning more at ease with where we all are in our process of becoming. The Synthroid is fading from my body and I’m also not about to walk off the planet like I have been feeling for so long now I can’t remember normal. I’m juggling a lot right now, something I have to remind myself when I start spinning.
Yesterday, Tatjana and I were speaking to someone about our life together. The person said it sounded like whack a mole – where every time we thought we had finished one challenge, another one popped up, and that we were both poised, mallets in hand, whacking away at all the stress that has come to us in our five years together. Our relationship too is in the process of becoming and it would be nice to experience it without a mallet in hand.
The house is so calm now that Loca is in the country. Rachel is more calm now that Synthroid is out of the equation. Tin is more calm now that he has experienced his adoption birthday celebration. And now it’s onward and upward.
December 5th, 2012 at 11:46 pm
I hear ya.
I feel ya.
In September, I took a break and went off Synthroid for a bit more than 3 weeks because my new family doctor had mistakenly increased my dosage in June from .088 to .1 and I ended up going from being hypo to hyper. Twas a sick summer — diarrhea, migraines, heart palpitations, foot & leg cramps that lasted for HOURS at night, among other fun stuff. Thought I’d lose my mind…whatever was left of it.
Now I’m back on Synthroid, getting blood tests every month, went from a .025 dose to .050 to whatever will happen this month. Guess I’ll end up taking .088 again, the dosage I had been taking for years before all hell broke loose for me in 2010 (stupid series of stressful events) and my system freaked out. Somehow, after living with hypo for 12 years and controlling it with S, the stress messed with my body and got it out of whack.
Lesson learned: I need to manage my stress and not let anything or anyone mess with me EVER.
Great pictures, Rachel. You look FABulous.
Enjoy the calm. Enjoy the love.
Breathe. Smile. Dance.
HUGS
xoxo
December 6th, 2012 at 9:50 pm
Mudd – I’m convinced our bodies are telling us to do what our minds won’t tell us to do. So let’s listen. I’m trying. It’s hard – I caught up with an old friend today and I kept talking about how happy I am and how everything is great – but that’s not 100% of the truth – there is still stress because I stress. I need to not stress. So do you. Quit stressing. See how easy it is.