Hump day or Heffalump day
On the drive to school this morning, Tin and I were listening to an audio book of Winnie the Pooh stories and we landed on the one about the heffalump trap. This is a day that has circumnavigated the whole mental globe, it started off with me trying to just be and beating myself up for not being able to – I had awakened at 3 am with ruminating thoughts of did I do this for the Re-Bridge gala list, did I call this source for my OTR work, did I forget to tell this person this about that and I had to put myself back to sleep by chanting Ram Ram Ram Ram Ram. Tin is down to two binkys, which both are road weary, and we told him when he goes through those, it’s curtains for the binkys, but I wish I had a binky and I then wouldn’t have to say Ram Ram Ram Ram Ram – I did after all suck my thumb until I was almost 14 years old and needed braces. So today while walking with a friend I told her my inner voice is such a meanie that when I stop and think about it, I wouldn’t talk to a mere acquaintance the way I talk to myself.
So I dropped Tin off, got back to my desk and heard from a source/friend I had hoped to see in San Francisco who was asking me a question, and turns out has left the company he was at to go to divinity school and he is also studying to be a life coach. We corresponded back and forth and he asked if he could use me as an experiment for his Happiness Project. Our digital conversation ended later in the day with me taking a series of tests and most with outcomes that I would pretty much expect except for the Optimism one where I looked to be a dyed in the wool pessimist. I told him I think it is just situational. Like I’m chasing a heffalump and setting traps and one never comes. Metaphorically speaking.
At the end of the day, I accomplished all the work I set out to do and more, I got a good tip for someone who might help with the Gala, I have a new life coach – ha!, and I was able to stick to my detox program and eat only enormously healthy food items today, although I did add some chia seeds to my shake that a friend had recommended and they gave me a stomach ache (note to self, soak them first). Then towards the end I picked up my Yom Kippur book – the one where I journal about my past year’s milestones and think about where I am and where I want to be and I noticed the entries all began the same way since 2003! The common theme is being overwrought by overdoing, overindulging, overspending, overthinking. I don’t have a single year where it says, “This has been a pretty relaxing year.”
Maybe a relaxing year is as elusive as a heffalump? I spoke with Tatjana about maybe just buying Tin another binky because he comes home from nursery and wants his binky and wants to sleep and why shouldn’t he have a binky, especially since he doesn’t know how to chant mantras yet.